Despite what two Supreme Court justices would have you think, we’ve come a long way. It’s no small thing to put the genie back into the bottle. Here is a post I wrote on October 10, 2014:

When I was in high school, I did my major English term paper on the history and legal/social standing of “gay marriage” — and my English teacher heckled and harassed me mid-presentation until I realized she would not permit me to finish. I cut it short. I cried in Biology class next period though I’d be damned if I cried in front of her. She gave me an “A,” though, the coward.

In college, I sat in a controversial class called The Politics of Sexuality, where one whole section was devoted to the theoretical proposition of gay marriage and how it could conceivably come to pass in the US. Please remember that, at the time (1999-2000), we were still Title 9 felons in North Carolina, because of the sodomy laws on the books. Marriage, I was told, wouldn’t happen in my lifetime, not in this or the next generation, would take years.

At roughly the same time, my brother and I, accompanied by our two dogs Mary and Artemis, stood out in a sacred circle I drew in the North Carolina clay of our backyard and witnessed my two mothers take vows of holy matrimony to each other. I defy anyone to say they weren’t married then and there. We made our own way and our own world then, one that no law or license (or lack thereof) could take away.

And we still do. Although now, as of 6:08pm this evening in my home state, there is no law or constitutional amendment that can stand between two consenting adults and the recognition they deserve. They said I wouldn’t see it in my lifetime. They said it wouldn’t be in my generation. And they were wrong. Give me my fucking “A.” Give me an “A+.” We won.

Amanda Hughes and Kirsten Wescott on their way to the chapel where they're getting married in New York City, November 17, 2013.
My mothers on their way to the chapel in New York City, November 17, 2013.